How to Be an Ally and Advocate
Your cause is waiting for you
If you checked out my brief Medium bio, or spent any time with my web presence elsewhere, you’d figure out pretty fast that there are some topics for which I’m both an ally and an advocate.
But in an age when labels are readily available, and sometimes too loosely tossed about, what does that mean?
An ally is one who recognizes value in someone else’s cause and then supports that person, as well as the cause. What we’re talking about here is mindset. We’re talking about a connection based on common purpose.
At whatever point you feel called to action, to take on this cause as your own, and if you begin to write or speak or share in an outward effort to call others to action for the cause, you’ve become an advocate.
Causes tend to present naturally through personal experience. They pull your emotions, light a fire in your soul, and propel you toward more on their behalf. Did your dad have cancer? Has your cousin been fighting an eating disorder? Is your best friend a survivor of domestic violence? Have you learned your grandchild is LGBTQ? Was addiction your own story once?
More importantly: Do you have a desire to help others?
Well then, your cause is likely ready and waiting, if you choose to answer the call.
The good news is, being an ally and advocate requires no special training or degree. There’s no classroom or clinical requirement. It doesn’t have to be a full-time job.
And yet… that doesn’t mean you don’t have a responsibility to get it right. You shouldn’t represent anything unless or until you can represent it well.
Here’s how to successfully be an ally and advocate to the cause that wants you.
Pay attention. Seek out, follow, sign up for newsletters from, and familiarize yourself with organizations whose missions relate to the cause that has your interest. Start educating yourself.
Seek full understanding. Ask questions. Admit that you may have built-in biases. Be open to learning in a way that could challenge those biases. Check yourself when you learn something new and your reflex is to reject it because of preconcieved (and possibly incorrect) notion. Be critical in your thinking, and look for context, too.
The Human Rights Campaign envisions a world where every member of the LGBTQ family has the freedom to live their truth without fear, and with equality under the law.
Fact check. Use multiple sources. Go to the experts. Compare information. Talk and listen to invested experiencers. Determine if you trust what you’re learning, and if it’s enough to be the foundation for your causal intention.
Make your support known. You don’t have to build a website and start a fundraiser and take on public speaking. By all means, if so led and skilled, do those things. But if your style is quieter, more subtle, it’s okay to let that be enough. Examples?
When appropriate, let your LGBTQ coworker know that you respect and honor their existence on their terms, and that they matter to you.
Share on social media. You don’t have to compose anything original, just let those experts and organizations we talked about above provide your content. People will begin to see what you feel passionate about, and that speaks on its own.
Wear a t-shirt that blasts your movement, or place a decal on your car or front door. You never know when someone will lay eyes on your proclamation, and suddenly lift their chin a little higher since, because of you, they know they’re not alone.
If you are comfortable writing and creating, put original stuff out into the world using channels you’re comfortable with. There are people who need to hear what you have to say.
Choose your words carefully. There can be a fine line between confidence in what you’re talking about and presenting like a know-it-all. Same applies to having a certainty in and knowledge of your cause vs. playing the bully or condescending your audience. If you can’t tell the difference, don’t say anything.
Breaking the Silence for Women is a platform of education and empowerment for survivors of domestic abuse.
Use your voice. If you’re at a family reunion or friend’s event, or having a conversation on a social media thread, and the moment presents itself, talk about what you’ve learned. Engage others. And most definitely, gently correct mis- and disinformation.
Grand gestures aren’t necessary to make a difference. And you can be heard without being the loud one up front, holding the floor.
Or maybe you can’t do anything unless you go big, and you feel your purpose requires a large audience. That’s okay, too.
Find the cause that’s natural to you, then embrace it in a way that’s natural for you. Someone out there needs you as their ally, and there may even be someone who would benefit if you advocated for them or their situation.
Go do some good, friend.
I’d love to know about your cause. Tell me in the comments?
